Busy

This afternoon Parker and I were talking about our trip to Utah and how fun it was to see everyone. The first person he talked about was grandma Tate. He loves her so much and they really have a special bond. One of his favorite things in the world is to play cars out on her patio. I told him that grandma Tate was grandma Stephanie's mommy and that if grandma Stephanie was here she would love to play with him all the time. He asked me if grandma Stephanie was coming to our house. I told him that she couldn't because she lived in heaven but that we would see her someday. He thought for a moment and then said, "she's busy." I asked him what she was busy doing and he said, "playing with Jesus."

Today is for you

Hey mom!! I'm just sitting here at work and thinking about our little barbeque that we'll be having in honor of you tonight. Most of the family is coming and we're having hamburgers, grandma's baked beans, and Becky's potato salad. I must admit that it wouldn't be a Tate function without those things and I love it! I looked up your name on google last night, since work was a bit slow, and I found out that you recieved the Golden Apple award from Alpine School District! I'm not sure when you did because we never talked about it, but I'm not surprised because you were always content to just do your best and not care if anyone noticed.:) I so admire you for that trait! I'm really trying to develop it for myself. You always did things because you knew it was right and you wanted to, never because someone else was watching. I'm sure that is why you were such a great teacher! You made every day your best day of teaching, even though I am almost positive you still had some more difficult days:).

Yesterday I had peaches and cottage cheese for a snack on my break. I can't help but think of you because you were the one who introduced it to me. Adam always asks me how I can eat that stuff... and I always remind him that you I tried it because of you! I also eat pears and grated cheese, and frozen burritos... some other "mom classics". I'm so thrilled to be able to go to Brooke's house and have a night about you! We don't get to talk about you with dad so much anymore, so it's nice to be able to have an night to blab on about all of memories. We were in Park City last weekend up at the time share and I got to share some memories with Adam...:) I remember getting you all spruced up in our room, putting your make-up and wig on and heading down for the BIG family picture. The best part of the entire picture experience was when little Parker reached out and pulled your wig off!! I will never forget that or the way you laughed when it happened! I think that was also Parkers first time "driving" Dad's beamer. We're going to see some of Kathy's kids tonight and I pray that Brooke and I can be a support to them througout this whole experience. They seem to be doing alright, considering everything. Melanoma is such a sneaky little varmint, but we're doing our best to keep it at bay. If Kathy ends up coming over there you make sure and give her a hug... we'll do our part down here but hopefully her kids will have her longer. Mom, I love you and miss you everyday. Thanks for helping become all I could be while you were here.

Just how I feel...

I was reading some of the memorials on the melanoma website and I came across this poem that really touched me. It's really sums up how I feel about my mom.

"The Agony is so great.....
And yet I will stand it.
Had I not loved so very much.
But goodness knows I would not
Want to diminish that precious love
By one fraction of an ounce.
I will Hurt,
And I will be grateful to the hurt
For it bears witness to
The depth of our meanings,
And for that I will be
Eternally Grateful."

Hi mom. Just me, missing you.
Love,
Brooke