Saturday, January 29, 2011

The wee babe:)

i hope you don't mind that I'm using your blog to talk to you. It's does help me feel better though. We only have 3 months left before this little boy will come and I can't help but feel excited and anxious all at the same time. I always tell Adam that this little boy is so special! I'm sure you know that though. I hope that you are enjoying some time with him up there before he comes to us. In the depths of my heart though, I still wish that you could be here to enjoy him with us. I know that he can know you through me and our family but it's just hard to realize that he'll know you only through pictures and memories that we share at first. I wish the veil would part just a little and send him with his own memories of you. I know that Heavenly Father has blessed us with so many people to love and care for him and that I should be happy with that, but the selfish part of me just wants you here. I have so many questions and worries about being a mom. I wish I could have asked you about them while you were here. Brooke has been my go to person and I feel like I get some of your advice through her, which is nice:).
I hope that I can be a good mom like you. I also hope that this little boy will know who you are through the pictures and memories that we have. I want to create a book or something that he can have in order to get to know you. I've been struggling lately with the idea of him only knowing you through pictures but I'll get through it. One day we'll all be together again and it will be such a joyous reunion! My heart is full and I know things will work out but I just miss you and grieve for the experiences that we could have had but realize that I am also incredibly blessed. I know you would tell me that "things will work out" and I know they will. I love you dearly and am grateful for the example you gave me! Keep tabs on the baby and enjoy him for us:).

Love always, Jamie


Brooke said...

"keep tabs" is such a mom-ism. I love that you say that too.(: You'll be a great mom. I love you!

Dawn said...

You will be an amazing mom!! Your mom taught you how to be a mom! Your thoughts and letters to your mom teach me do much about recognizing blessings. You and your sister are so wise.