Sunday, August 17, 2008

Old Friends

Hey Mom!
It's been a while since I've written on here but I just had to tell you about my new teacher experiences! Last week I went to Scera Park to meet Miss Greaves for help on her preparation day, but it ended up just being a "Back to School" meeting with the teachers and principal. Of course I stuck out like a sore thumb in the middle of teachers who all new each other but then came the time for my introduction. Miss Greaves introduced me as Mrs. Fieber but someone on the table behind us quickly piped up and asked, "Are you related to the Tate's?" I turned around to answer the question and lo and behold it was Valerie Louder!! It took me a second to recognize her but I then I said that you were my mom and that I knew who she was:) I had completely forgot, even though grandma had told me:), that Valerie taught at Scera! And I must tell you that I was so proud to hear a few "ohh's" and "really, she was your mom?" as many of the teachers reminisced for a moment about their experiences with you!! I'm pretty sure that no matter where I am in Alpine School District I always run into someone who you touched! It was such a tender few minutes when I got to talk to Valerie and "catch up". She shared some very special memories and we shared a few tears. I really can't help but miss you everyday and especially when it comes to teaching.
I've been a little overwhelmed at times these past few weeks just wanting to call and ask you all of the questions that I have as an almost new teacher. How do you plan out a general year plan? How do you start the first day of school? What do you tell parents at parent teacher conference and back to school nights? How do you set up rules and routines? I know that most of this comes just by doing but I just want to be selfish for a bit and want you here.
We went to Russel's homecoming talk this morning and he has become quite the man. You would have loved to have been there and listening to his experiences and how he's changed. I chuckled to myself as he had "translation" times. I remember those days all too well. We all went over to Becky's for some yummy food and good conversation. It's been difficult sometimes to be around everyone since you've been gone. At times I feel like I'm a piece of the puzzle but without the piece that connects me to everyone else, you. I know that everyone there loves me and is always there for me but sometimes its so hard to feel like I have a reason to be there. I know that these feelings will pass but I so wish I could talk to you. You always had a way of listening and making me feel better about the situation. Now Brooke mainly plays this role for me. She is so much like you in that way and I'm blessed to have her. I also know that I have so many other people willing to listen to my blabbering and it brings me comfort in times of need. I had a dream about you the other night. You gave me a hug and I didn't want to wake up because I felt so at home. Love you as always and hope that you're proud of who we are!
Love always,
Jamie D.


idaho amy said...

Hey Jamie-

I read this yesterday and cried... It is hard for me to know the words to say after reading the sincere thoughts of your heart. I wish there were some "easy button" that could be pushed to make the situation better, but as you well know, there is not. I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you and Brooke, and all those in our family that have lost their moms. I know there is nothing I can do to replace the huge void that your mom left, but please know that I do love you and appreciate you sharing the feelings that you have.

Your mom was an amazing lady with all that she did in her teaching career, and with all of the love that she had for her family. You are right--she must be smiling down on Russell and, soon to be home, Keaton, for the great men that they have become through their missionary service. She always encouraged and supported her family in making good decisions, and she knew that that is what really brings true happiness.

Thanks again for giving us a glimpse inside your beautiful soul!


Lauren said...

You and your sister are incredible. Not only would your mom be proud of Russ, but I know she is so proud of you. Following in her footsteps and helping to change the world one sweet child at a time. The beautiful thing about the veil is that it is a lot thinner than we think. I think that you will be amazed how the answers to all of your questions may just "come to you". It will not be a coincidence. I know this is no consolation for her not being physically here, but she will never leave you and Brooke, never.

I feel bad that you feel uncomfortable at family things. I love to have you there and to see you. Let's spend some time together outside of those functions. Sometimes it is hard to get beneath the "surface level" conversation when everyone else is around. I feel like we spend the entire time catching up instead of just chatting about whatever exciting is going on. Anyway, I just want you to know that I love you! You are incredible and good luck with your teaching.


Dawn said...

Jamie -
You will be a wonderful teacher!

Good Luck with your plans and the start of a new year!

I check this site often in hopes of finding the answers I am looking for. You say it perfectly. I completely understand your "puzzle".

My heart aches for you as you embark on something new without the one person (the one person you want most) here to show you how it is done. But... I know you will know what to do and say and you will do great.

Keep writing and sharing your thoughts. You have no idea how much it has helped validate my own feelings.

I think of you and your sister often.

Dawn Dorius Hall